There is always something to learn each and every day of our lives. I’m back to the dating thing… so if you’ve stayed tuned in, you’ll be interested in hearing the ending to the Mr. Hottie Pants saga. If you’ve just tuned in… there may be a few tidbits you can walk away with. If you don’t want to hear any of it… close out this page and come back later. No offense taken.
I’ve done quite a bit of self-reflection for the last few days. I’ve come to several conclusions… the biggest conclusion is that I miss my dad. Bunches. I was talking with another father today – he’s young and his beautiful daughter is on the verge of dating. He has stepped up to the plate and has taken a protective role over his daughter with the intentions of helping her find a suitable mate instead of allowing her to be trampled upon like a doormat. This made me realize that I wish my own father was still here. Fathers have a way of making life feel better. I miss you, dad.
Conclusion #2: I revert to victim mentality at the most inopportune moments. This happens to people who have experienced abuse. It’s so ironic that my day job consists of guiding teens to healthy adulthood and instilling healthy attitudes within them… but my own life reverts back to ugly defaults at seemingly random times. What is this victim mentality? You may have picked up on it a couple of entries ago: I’m waiting for someone to want me – anyone. My attitude was as if anybody who wants me will be okay and we will live happily ever after. (There’s a voice in my head screaming, “Stop it!”)
Side note here: Okay ladies (sorry gents)… just stop it. It’s important to stand up for yourself and be a little more on the choosy side. Yes – I realize you’ve been waiting for literally YEARS for Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet… but the fact of the matter is Prince Charming is not every nice guy that pays attention to you!
Conclusion #3: I try too hard. Now we have progressed to the coveted Mr. Hottie news. He wasn’t Prince Charming. Well… he WAS Prince Charming… but not MY Prince Charming! I made too much out of the relationship and he was willing to comply. Mr. Hottie was kind, sweet, funny, cuddly, smart, happy, a hard-worker… but not ready to sweep any woman off her feet. I realized that I had reverted to victim mentality because I knew in my heart that this relationship would not work out yet I did the best I could to persuade him that he was my Prince Charming. Yep. JUST STOP IT, RACH. (My sincere apologies to Mr. Hottie – but he already knows this.)
Another side note: I wish you the best, Mr. Hottie. Your princess is gonna be one lucky woman when you sweep her off her feet!
So…. onwards on my dating path…
Conclusion #4: My self-worth is not based on other’s opinions of me. Rejection is a dime a dozen. (Insert your own sarcastic comment here. You didn’t know this would be an interactive blog entry, did you?) It’s easy to let myself get down when I feel rejected. I have actually never been great at handling rejection so when it happens, my immediate response is to question myself. See the error in this train of thought? Remember when we learned in 7th grade that the world does NOT revolve around us? Duh. Rejection can be birthed from any reason or circumstance. We cannot guess what another person is going through. Rejection is okay. Stand strong and remind yourself who you are…
Yep, another side note: Can’t remember who you are? Get out a piece of paper and write it down… I’m pretty sure you are witty, clever, smart, and if you’ve made it this far – pretty intelligent because who else is going to put up with my writing?
Rejection is not who you are – it’s just an unpleasant event that happens from time to time… to time… to time.
Get over it.
The final conclusion that I’ve come to (wheew!! Almost done!!) is that it’s important to let go in order to make room for the new. Many people don’t accept or embrace this concept. They are hanging on sooooo tightly to the past – that the joy of the future never finds them. I saw this graphic on FaceBook that really resonated with my heart.
Wait… not that one. Sorry!
Letting go is tough! However… (yep – the big BUT)… it’s necessary in order to make room for future joy. DO IT!!
Thanks for sticking with me as I stumble through this life. We’re gonna make it.
Ooooo yeeees weee aaaare!!